Being Mahul Bhattacharya

In a now famous speech at Stanford graduation, Steve Jobs once talked about a piece on death. It said, "If you live each day as if it were your last, some day, you will certainly be right".

I'm not really open to the idea of dying anytime in near future, but a bit of introspection always helps. If I were to die tonight, could I look back and believe that there's nothing with my life that I would wish to change? That, I believe, is important.
It's hardly plausible that anyone would want to play Mahul Bhattacharya. So this is not a guide to being me. Rather, its an endeavor to find out what I am and what I am not.

So being me means:

  • Daydreaming: Forms a very important part of my life. This is what I do when I have nothing else to do. Which incidentally is almost always the case. From winning the Nobel and Booker to rocking on stage in orange shirt and silver pants :D. From playing superhero to cricketing hero. Lamborghinis and Porsches and Hayabusas. And obviously, lots of hot gals fighting to win me over.Not all dreams are that rosy though. When I'm disturbed, the dreams get all dark and murky. I land up in jail and get bashed up on the streets. I flunk exams and get thrown out of college. In short, you name it, I've dreamt it.
  • Profiling: That's another thing I keep doing. Profiling people and situations. In short figuring out how the world would react to stimulus. Most of it always turns out to be wrong. The rest never happens *wink*. Once in a blue moon, I get something right. And that gives me the incentive to carry on with this mindless monologue. But yes, it does help in understanding how people react to situations. And that, I like to believe, helps me react better.
  • You will have to eat lots, digest that properly and still keep looking like a stick.
  • Late to bed and late to rise. And keep promising yourself everyday that you will end the cycle.
  • Procrastination: Somehow I can't seem grow out of my affinity for the Indian Railways schedule. And tell you what, when it comes to not being on time, I beat them by miles.

Being me also means you can say good bye to:
  • Ladies man: Not extra caring and extra generous with the fairer sex. Another reason why gals find me obtuse.
  • Spoilt brats: We keep a safe distance. Dunno why. But expect no special attention from me just because you were born filthy rich. If you have substance in you but aren't worth a penny, you would still have all my respect.
  • Fashion: Not really my cup of tea.
  • Anything addictive: However hard I try, they refuse to climb down my food pipe. Tea, coffee, smoke, booze whatever.
This list is no where near exhaustive. Whatever I write, there would still be more to me. That's why I am a human after all.
And yes, Instruo pictures won't be coming. Why? Because I found that I am missing from most of them.

Two mistakes of my life

Hello blogging world!!

I'm back. After a hugely successful stint in the college technical festival, INSTRUO as Internal Coordinator. This would rank amongst the most satisfying experiences of my life.

As a part of the package, comes the hype and the recognition. Only to dwindle and die away with time. Not that I'm complaining one bit. Yeah, I impressed lots of people. And as usual, none of them were girls. *wink*.

But that's something I will talk about some other day. Today, with the Instruo experience and the anticipation of the cultural fest just around the corner, I want to talk about something entirely different. I want to talk about the two mistakes of my life.

I would have loved a better physique. With an imposing physical appearance, some things would have been far easier.

I should have learned some music. That's one area I have never explored. Except listening to music; some idiots call that a 'hobby'.

Perhaps its too late to amend these mistakes. Perhaps its never too late. Only time can tell. Instruo pictures coming soon.


After twenty years of soul searching, I finally found the answer.

I've never found true love. I've never seen phenomenal success or phenomenal luck. I never got any richer overnight. Forget true love, no one ever showed any romantic interest in me. Every night, after I lie down and till I start to snore, I wonder where the problem lies.

But no more guys, 'cause I found the answer last night.

"........send this email to 15 people including me and you will find true love by tomorrow. Ignore this and you will never find love"

"......send this scrap to true friends and see a miracle happen by tonight. Ignore this and......"

I spent my childhood in a religious city and people would often hand me leaflets saying,"

Mata XYZ devi ki kripa

..... get 1000 copies of this pamphlet distributed and you will get richer by millions.....
Mr. ABC ignored and got fired from office and ..........
Mr. DEF did 5000 and currently owns crores..."

I'm sorry Mr. Bulkmailer, I'm sorry Mr. Junkscrapper, I'm sorry Mr. Leaflet distributor. I'm sorry because I never paid any attention to what you said. I never forwarded those emails, I never went to a printer. Not that I ever plan to.

But I would like to request everyone reading this post to refrain from sending me those mails and scraps and whatever. You see, I've already done a lot of sin accumulation. And the only way anyone can help me, is by not adding to the already accumulated bundle.

As for the leaflets, I always get curious and accept whatever is handed out to me. From now on, I'm planning to staple a request on my shirt asking all leaflet hand-outers to oblige. Pity they don't read blogs.