• Try to request people to participate in at least one of your surveys every year (maybe twice). Do not forget to post a reminder (or two) saying how desperately you need it.

• Try to post at least one album full of pictures where everyone in sight is wearing a business suit; no problems if it's June.

• Try to give us some expert comments every time our Government is on the verge of making a much publicized policy decision. e.g. FDI, Nuclear deal. Preferably align with whatever the US/Europe happens to be pushing at the time; not that you will ever feel the need to do otherwise. 

• Keep sending us some links to articles that happen to rank your alma mater favorably. If there happen to be no such lists (:P), try posting some which talk about some excellent initiatives that have been taken instead (hint: Dainik Jagran).

• And last, but not the least, as an MBA student, it's part of your social responsibility to keep educating half-literates like me. So keep posting fantastic tidbits of knowledge filled with MBA jargons that make me gasp in wonder. Accentuate the effect by having your classmates comment in equally incomprehensible literature.

P.S. I never did an MBA. Nor am I an aspirant.

Do not get me wrong. I have but the utmost respect for people learning so much more. Just because I dropped out half literate doesn't mean I cannot appreciate that.

And any intended offence caused is humbly apologized for.

Diya Mirza (the poor man's Aishwarya Rai) , once revealed in an interview how she would skip meals to be able to afford the cab from her way back from work, back in her struggling days. That was long back, but I guess the information stayed with me because I thought the story was kinda inspirational.

Or was it?

Diya Mirza could have taken a bus/train/tram from work as well. That way, the whole skipping meals sob story wouldn't have been essential any more. But that was Diya Mirza. Or was it?

Our generation suffers from a weird insecurity. Let me give you an example. Back when I worked at a consulting firm, everyone came to office in Levi's denims. Well, to be truthful not everyone did, but more people did than otherwise. Now that I work at a product based organization (where the average pay is considerably higher), most people I come across dress in more sensibly priced brands. I once went for an interview at Google India, and the interviewer came dressed in a fluorescent orange turtle neck that I'm sure came off a flea market for not more than 150 bucks.

We seem to have reached a stage where we do what the market demands of us. Another example? How do you explain the obscene percentage of students who chose

1) Engineering degrees

2) Software Jobs

3) Management degrees

in that order? Hell, software doesn't even pay more these days! And I have lost count of the number of people who hated their engineering courses, went on for management degrees and then hated those even more.

Personally, I always feel the pinch every time someone goes for higher studies in the US. Why? I have no idea. I would enjoy creating an android app or optimizing an SQL query far more than say, mugging up a network packet structure; but the market tells me that the action is abroad.

I recently bought one of the best (and the costliest) phones in the market. The price was certainly way out of my league, but I still did. And now I think:

1) The screen is definitely huge and gorgeous, but I spend almost 18 hours a day in front of a screen which is 4 times larger; the PC monitor. 9 hours out of these 18 are spent in front of two such display panels.

2) Games do run butter smooth; thanks to a dual core processor, but I would prefer the FPS games that run a tad awkwardly on my single core PC any day.

3) My office is just a 20 minute walk away, and I could do without any music during this journey.

4) I really do not need most apps on the go, as I have better softwares installed on my PC; and I am in front of it most of the time anyway.

Point is, I still love the phone. Forget love, I am crazy about it. That's in part because I can appreciate the elegance of the product and the design of the software, which a big section who buy such phones cannot. (Not because they are dumb, but because they aren't into engineering per se).

And buying a phone is just the start. After the phone, I bought an elegant case for it which incidentally cost me more than what I would get for reselling my old phone. Now, I have realized that the 2G data connection on the phone can hardly do any justice to its abilities, so the solution seems to be an obscenely priced 3G data connection. Next, I would be buying 500 bucks apps on the market. At the end of the day however, playing Need for Speed on my PC is still going to be a hands down better experience.

I remember a health drink ad which talked about how we should run or fall behind. Well, we are running, but where are we running to? And what are we running for? I completely advocate running for a goal, but truth is, most of us are completely clueless. I still remember when a trainer asked this question to a training room of 15 people.

What do you want to become in life?

It's a simple enough question. One that I am sure every 5 year old can answer at the drop of hat; Pilot, soilder, actress, teacher and the like. Most people out of a class of 15 answered what sounded like,

"I want to fulfill my responsibilities to the best of abilities; rise up the value chain and network across my peers".

That's one answer that my simple brain cannot make any sense of. Is that what you are running for?

So what are we losing out on? Relationships? Perhaps values? Baba Ramdev can tell you more about them.

What I feel that we as a generation are losing out on is creativity. I know that for sure when I look at someone wearing a (fake) solid colored tee with "being human" written in a simple font in white, and I feel, "this doesn't look bad".

How do you sneeze? Yes, you heard me right. How do you sneeze?

Do you go all aa-aaa-AAA-SNEEEEZEEE!! or one of those "fich" sneezes that a person would miss if he happens to be opening a can of soda?

Why? Because my friend, it's important.

Now that reminds me of that Dabur Lal dant manjan ad where Sunil Shetty tells a beefed up guy (who cannot bite an apple) how teeth should not be neglected. Well, neither should the sneeze.

A sneeze is more than what you think it is. A sneeze is an extension of your personality. Think of the chick who sits 10 cubicles from you in office (and despite your extensive efforts, you haven't been able to get introduced to). She knows how you look, and she knows how you sneeze. If you are capable of sneezing loud enough, that is. Btw, if you are one of those guys who thinks that women do not go by looks, think again. How many good looking girls have you told that looks don't matter for you? You can do the math.

So what does a sneeze tell about you? Lots actually.

There are the lion heart sneezes that threaten the window panes and there are the sheepish weak "fich" ones that get you all irritated. There are indecisive "aa-aa-aa-chhi"'s that will take forever to come and there are the violent "HAN-CHHI" that speak of anger and frustration in the underlying souls. In short, there are as many types of sneezes as there are people.

Just as websites have digital signatures, human beings have sneeze signatures. You can copy the content of the website but you cannot copy the signature. Just as you can copy a human, thanks to modern cosmetic surgery, but you cannot copy his sneeze. You might ail or age or be sad or happy, but your sneeze will sound just the same.

Luckily, I happen to be blessed with a powerful sneeze. When I sneeze, one floor below and above know. When my Dad sneezes, two floors above and below know. When Grandpa would sneeze, half the village would know; I attribute the degradation in sneeze quality to the adulteration that has crept into human civilization over time.

So my friend, this rainy season, work on your sneeze. For you never know, you might get caught in a little drizzle and start sneezing. And you will never realize when you let out a sheep sneeze and lose the girl. You look cool, fine; you dress cool, great; it's time you sneezed cool.

As Grandpa would say, "A tiger fears you only as much as you fear it. Where it wins is strength and desperation". It's in moments like these than a tiger sneeze could turn the balance.

There are three types of people in this world - Normal, Genius and Frustrated.

To illustrate further, I would like to give you an example.

Three people named Normal, Genius and Frustrated walk into a bar. There's a band playing a very catchy tune. None of them has ever played any musical instrument before, but they're all impressed with the music. All of them develop this desire to learn to play the guitar.

So far so good. The story was uniform. Not any longer.

- Normal toils hard to learn the guitar. Ten people say they do not want to teach him because he understands no music. Ten others refuse to teach him because he is not gifted enough. Normal doesn't give up and after what can be called a fair amount of time, he is able to play the tune decently well.

Normal invites his friends for a party and shows of his skills. His friends clap and Normal is happy. He goes off to sleep contented. End of story.

- Genius picks up a guitar. After some time alone with the guitar, he is able to understand how the thing is supposed to work. Some more time, and viola! Genius, is able to play the tune. But does Genius stop here?

No. Genius has a great inspiration and he creates a new tune that is kind of groundbreaking stuff. Next the story can go in two directions.

Rockstar Genius goes on stage somewhere and plays his tune. Instant fame and recognition. End of story.

Shy Genius hides his tune somewhere until a smoking blonde manages to dig it out. She coaxes him (:P) into playing it in public. Instant fame and recognition. End of story.

- Frustrated is kinda lazy so he takes a long long time before he actually picks up a guitar. During this time he is very frustrated because he is not picking up the guitar. When he finally does, some pretty teacher agrees to teach him. She is fairly impressed with him because he is able to learn it really fast. After what some people would call a small amount of time, he is able to play the tune.

Frustrated (like Normal) decides to invite his friends for a party where he wants to show off his skills. Another associated desire is to ask his Teacher out after the play (She is also invited). Frustrated plays and all his friends clap.

But this isn't Normal's story, so it gets complicated. Teacher tells him that he is really cute and talented, but she already has a boyfriend. Some *&#$@? friend tells him how the rendition was almost as good as the original. (Incidentally, he had mentioned this to Normal as well, but weirdly enough, he seemed fine with it).

All this is too much for Frustrated. He continues to go to sleep jittery and frustrated.

I rest my case. :)

P.S. Not to be taken seriously

Some days back my manager came up to me and asked me if we could show a particular stock animation on the Interface at some particular event in the hardware. What happened to that is another story saved for some other time, but what happened a week back is interesting.

I was trying to connect my PC to the internet using a nokia phone and nokia PC suite. This was something my mom and dad had tried sometime back at home (without child supervision :-)) and failed.

Whenever that happens, I get a call explaining the problem and expecting a fix. I had never seen that software at the time, so all I could come up with was some 'useless beating around the bush' which, needless to say, failed (My Dad, as usual, thought my engineering degree was a waste of money).

So coming back to previous week, at the climax of the connection activity (while the PC was trying to connect), there was a decent, neat animation showing waves travelling from the PC towards the tower (You must have seen it if you have ever connected to the internet using nokia PC suite). My Dad, who had been watching wordlessly till now, commented -

"As long as no waves come back from the tower, this cannot possibly connect."

Animation brings life to UI's and has enormous potential to confuse simple people.

Once during my first experience of Windows OS, something that I had put for copy hung. The progress bar wouldn't budge a millimeter, but I was happy because I could see bits of paper flying from one folder to the other!

To tell you the truth, I never intended to guide people in becoming entrepreneurs. Far from it. It just happens that three people pinged me on facebook to tell me that they thought my blog was good.

I believe in science. And I believe that science says that when you have the same observation thrice, it's about time for deduction. Which in this case has lead to an attempt to bring my dead blog back to life.

Before you start, to prevent you from getting any false ideas about me, I would like to clarify the following.

• I come from a family where they have never been any entrepreneurs/businessmen. In short, no one I am related to has ever made a "profit".

• My family does not believe in entrepreneurship. In short, everyone I am related to tries to explain why the whole idea of entrepreneurship is not a very smart one.

If you still want to learn from me, I would gladly feel sorry for you. Here goes the list of do's and don'ts.

• Don't start deciding the name first. We spent the first two months doing nothing except working on the name!! And what we finally agreed on (and have stuck to), in our college lingo means 'idiot'.

• If it's an internet/software startup, forget about getting a server. We wasted the next two months thinking about the advantages we would have with a dedicated server. When we finally worked on the disadvantages list, it turned out to be so long that today we host our website on a free webspace.

• If you haven't already, do not watch the movie "The Social Network". Not that it isn't an awesome movie, but they day my partner watched it (I recommended it to him), he started talking about how much each of us own and how we should always inform the other before every decision taken. *wink*

• This one is very important. Never, and I mean never ever announce a product before you have it completely ready. The following things could happen:

- Out of the blue your day job may start demanding hectic hours and you won't get any more time to work on the product.

- You may start getting bored with working on the same thing for a long time.

- You start getting the feeling that the product is useless. This is usually the most common.

• Well this one is a revelation. You have your website up and running which tries to tell people what you intend to do and how you intend to do it. Simple enough. You post the link somewhere (a little bragging never hurt anyone), and next thing you know is you start getting the following type of messages on Facebook -
  
  
  "Awesome work man! Btw what are we supposed to do on the site?"
  
  
  You are not supposed to do anything dumbo! All you are supposed to do is to look at it and tell us if you think it's good/bad.

• If you are a group of one/two/three etc people, you must understand that you can't be one/two/three for the rest of your life. So you need to bring in new people. How? Don't ask me, we are still two.

• This one is a secret. Odd jobs never hurt anyone. I suspect that all entrepreneurs have done some at some point. For example, I sometimes do assignments for grad students in US/Europe to keep my paypal account ticking. *wink*

• You always live in the morbid fear that you are getting accustomed to (and maybe even interested in) your day job. Trust me, it's not true. After spending an uncomfortable more than a year, I finally realized this. "All day jobs suck and have always sucked".

• Try not to tell everyone you know that you are the proud owner of a company without a product. I understand that at it's really difficult, but atleast try.

Well, I suppose that almost sums up my knowledge of becoming an entrepreneur. If you are a lonely reader who happened to wander to this dead blog, post a comment if you feel like.

On a bright sunny morning in April, 2010, a bus dropped us at Haldwani, Uttarakhand. We were en-route to Chowkori, a little hill station in Uttarakhand when my stomach declared trouble.

We neither had the time nor the intention to book a room or something, so armed with a paper-soap, I walked into a place called "HI-TEC toilet". Needless to say, after an overnight bus journey, I was under immense pressure.

After I had settled down, and everything had settled back to perspective (If you have ever faced a similar situation, you know what I mean), I noticed a tiny little piece of graphiti amidst all of the porno that is so characteristic to an Indian public toilet.

It said, "Maaza aaya??".

I so wanted to write "Yes" a thousand times over :-).

Does this happen to you too?

I was eating loads of street food, when someone commented that on the hygenic aspect of street food. In response I told everyone how I had a pretty robust digestive system ( Which I still maintain that I do), so that I could loads of everything and anything that I wanted. The next morning, everyone else is fine, while I keep shuttling between the room and the loo.

I tell someone how I efficiently wrap up my work on time, so much so that I never need to stay back late or go to work on weekends. All through that week, I do 11+ hours and also work from home over the weekend.

I tell my folks how popular I am in college (again I still maintain that I am still a recognized face in my campus, even though I am out of it now), and the next day they meet someone who has never heard of me before. The day I had told someone that I was good with mechanics, the graphics lab prof told me that teaching me graphics had been a complete waste of his and my time.

It's not a crime to brag once in a while, is it??

When the chips are down and the stakes are high,
When the match is tied and you bowl a bye.

When the bills are high and the cash is low,
When the Man-Hole was open and down you go.

When you get a dud after expecting a beauty,
When you see that idiot flaunting a cutie.

When a bird shits on you when you pass under a tree,
When you gotta go to office and the loo ain't free.

When you work on weekends while your friends go booze,
When you brush your teeth and you want to snooze.

When you sweat in office while your Manager has fun,
When you write a code and it does not run.

When the appraisals are out and your ratings are down,
When everyone seems smiling while you wear a frown.

When the Day is Valentine, and you haven't got a date,
When she rejected your proposal but the chocolates she ate.

When your present is boring and your future looks bleak,
When you are avoided coz you complain like a freak.

When the shoes are worn and the road is rough,
When you feel so squashed but the going feels tough.

When everyone you know would kick your bum,
Just hang on Buddy, for your time will come!! :-))

Ahemmm, ahemm, I'm blogging after...... lemme see.......3 months!!

Well, today's one of those rare lucky days, when I have nothing to do (that goes only for the next few minutes, touchwood) and I am still not worrying how I am supposed to show in my ILC(timesheet) what I was doing during this time.

For updates, the pretty gal who sits in front of me hasn't reported to work today(before you think I am that lucky, also consider that there are two wooden partitions in between, which incidentally are completely opaque ;)).
My Functional Manager is in Spain along with one Team Lead, the rest of the Team Leads are in a meeting, and one Lead who has just been back from Spain, has been offering Spanish chocolates to everyone around 30 seconds ago. Tell you what, there's nothing special about Spanish chocolates.

Well, so much for the Mr. X story. If you haven't read that, you might consider doing so here.

Well I am Mr. X now, except the beautiful Mrs X part, which I am sure you have already figured out. Being Mr. X, I wanted to add a little to the story.

• Mr. X never lets a single chance to trash his juniors pass by.

• Mr. X's manager and seniors; similarly never allow a single chance to trash Mr. X pass by.

• As far as the current Mr. X in question (read I) is concerned, I got no juniors

• Mr. X sometimes attends office parties where he feels like screaming his head off, let alone having fun.

• Mr. X meets no clients and delivers no presentations. Instead he tests codes that other people have written (usually) and occasionally gets to write a few lines of code and modify a few lines of pre-written code. Incidentally Mr. X has discovered that the codes he deals with require absolutely zero imagination and no creativity.

The rest of the updates will follow as and when Mr. X finds time and finds updates *wink*. For now, Mr. X has to test the next piece of code. :-).

I do not expect many people to read this post, partly because I have been on an extended leave from the blogosphere and mostly because I never had many readers to start with. So, if you did read this post, you might consider offering Mr. X your sympathies.

Yes I am.

I am stuck in a company. More specifically, I am stuck in a training room. The trainer fumbles while executing a simple C++ program and wonders whether "Using namespace std" ends in a semicolon. He has no idea that C++ codes can be compiled using "g++". What are we doing?? We are learning Object Oriented Programming Concepts (OOPS) in two whole days!!

This is an absolute mockery of my B.E degree. All the time, I sit around chatting and surfing the Internet while the trainer drones on about how confusing Inheritance is. Worse, the guys in the class, leave alone the ones not from Computer Science backgrounds, are even more pathetic. This is a batch where more than 80% of the class cannot complete a factorial program in C in 15 minutes! I am not enjoying being the smart guy in the batch, not anymore.

But the worst part is that I am not feeling like running away as I should. I am yet to receive my first paycheck, but the mere thought is tempting. In a long time, I am very concerned about what future has in store for me.

It was the summer of 2001 when God Narayana decided that he had enough. Kalyug was a mess, and it was time for him to descend upon it and cleanse the earth as he had done in the previous Yugs.

The job had to be done, and God Narayana knew that he had delayed it long enough. But then it was never easy. It was troublesome adjusting to the peculiar ways of the humans. The humans had a wide variety of customs and traditions which were irrationally peculiar; but the weirdest thing was that they fanatically defended the traditions that they followed and denounced those that they did not. Goddess Lakhsmi had tried to calm his nerves, but it wasn't of much help. How could it be when Narayana knew that it was certain to get tougher this time? The very thought of cleansing Kalyug left butterflies fluttering in Narayana's stomach.

Procastrination never helps and being amongst the greatest of Gods, Narayana was well aware of that. So one fine day, in the September of 2001, Narayana descended upon planet earth. Little did he know that on 21st July, 2001, Aamir Khan's latest movie 'Dil Chahta Hai' had been released.

He sent an 'All's well' sms to goddess Lakshmi. And that was the end of all communication. Hours went by and soon two days had elapsed without a single word of communication from Narayana. Goddess Lakhsmi had started to grow anxious. True, Narayana was a God, but then you could never know what dangers lurked in Kalyug. But that was not what Lakshmi was really worried about. The real danger were those pretty Bollywood heroines who had started to shed clothes at an alarming rate. As with every Indian woman, Lakshmi was never comfortable leaving Narayana in the company of pretty women. How could she after listening to all those horrifying stories of Greek Gods falling in love with earthly damsels??

It was time to send in a gaurd. So Lakhsmi sent two trusted gaurds to check what Narayana was up to. Another two days passed. There was still no trace of Narayana or the gaurds. Lakshmi knew it was time for her marraige's mid-life crisis. She knew she had to act and act fast, if she had to save her marraige from going kaput. The very thought of losing Narayana to a bollywood heroine brought tears to her eyes.

But just as she was about to leave for earth, there was a knock on the door. Lakshmi opened the door with trembling hands. And there was Narayana. But he looked so sick and depressed that Lakshmi could only gape in horror. Lord Narayana went up to his room, put up a "DND" sign and locked the door.

A day passed like that. Lakhsmi was growing anxious. But secretly, she was happy that Narayana had finally come back to her. Finally unable to hold back her curiosity, she knocked on the door. First there was no response. But after a lot of nagging, Naryana finally relented and agreed to tell Lakshmi all that had transpired between the 'All's well' sms and Narayana's return.

" I'm growing old", said Narayana to Lakshmi. "It's high time I gave up being a God and started growing vegetables in our backyard". "Bulls**t, you still flirt with the same vigour", said Lakshmi coyly. "No, I'm serious, I've started forgetting things", he said. Lakshmi had started to grow curious again. Narayana went on," Never in my wildest dreams can I think of making such a mistake. It's simply unforgivable. I'm no longer worthy of being revered a God. No Lakshmi, perhaps you have grown used to the comforts of being a goddess, but its time we adjust to a simpler lifestyle".

Now that infuriated Lakshmi. "Will you stop beating around the bush and tell me what actually happened?", she retorted.

" From the memories of my Dwapar Yug trip, I remember that humans grew moustaches on top of their upper lips. But you know what, I found that my memory has started to play tricks on me. Coz I just found out that all males had moustaches at the bottom of their lower lips".

Sitting on a bench in a railway compartment munching a stale hot chicken patties, it occurred to me that life was not fair. For example, the stale hot chicken patties that came without tomato sauce (courtesy a shop at the station) had cost me fourteen bucks. Not fair. First, the only place where I could find chicken was in the name. Next, the little square piece of baked or fried or whatever dough had cost ten bucks the last time it went down my food pipe. Which was probably 2-3 years ago. But then, this one tasted as if it had been fried 2-3 years ago as well.

My eyes darted to the pretty gal in the corner of the compartment. She was smiling at some apparent joke which her dull looking boyfriend had cracked. Not fair again. I was single, sweaty and grumpy while that guy was having a good time.

Life is also strange. Lets take the patties example. The vegetable patties is triangular while the chicken patties is square. I tried hard to figure out some apparent reason that could justify this fantastic choice of shapes. Probably the difference ensured that the vendor would not hand over chicken patties against vegetable orders as a mistake. I gave up thinking. Maybe I should have bought a vegetable patties instead. They seemed to sell more; that meant it was less probable that they would be stale. I have the best of realizations at the worst of moments. Life isn't fair at all.

Back to the gal. Perhaps I was a bit harsh on her boyfriend. If that was her boyfriend at all. I of all people should abstain from judging people by their looks. Its funny how we do the things that we expect others not to. Nah, Life is a weird and unfair concoction.

Why did the patties vendor sell me the stale stuff? He certainly did not intend to sell stale patties to me when he had placed his order. He was bad at inventory control. I remembered that they had taught me inventory control back in my fourth semester. Weird. I am a software techie who has a one in a million chance of ever having an inventory. They keep teaching the wrong guys. Our mathematics department had put me through a lot of trouble mugging inventory control. I wished they had spared me the trouble. The vendor selling the stale patties deserved it more anyway.

My thoughts were stopped mid-way by the gal. She stared at me. Or so I thought. I am never confident when gals look anywhere around me. A part of me tells me that I was the intended recipient of the gaze. The other part tells me that the gal looked at everything except me. By the time I make up my mind, the gals are long gone. No wonder, I was single and grumpy on that bench.

The train stopped with a jerk. The gal and her probable boyfriend walked out. I was done eating the patties. I realized that I had patties crumbs clinging to a substantial portion of my face. Even the bag on my lap had minuscule crumbs all over. I have never really learnt the art of eating cakes and patties. I took out my handkerchief and started to clean up the mess.

Dr. B. Kar stepped back from his table. He had begun to sweat profusely. Not that he wasn't used to the heat. His life had never been easy. He took out his dirty handkerchief and mopped his brow. He was almost there.

It all came back to him.
He was born into an average middle class family. Very simple and very normal and very accepted. Until the day he was born. For he was anything, but normal.
He was born with an ugly large head and a small diminutive torso. The nurse had shrieked when he was born, and his mother had smiled. But soon people knew that the large ugly head was not as ugly inside as it was from the outside. He was nothing less than a genius.

However that did not change people's attitude towards him. Boys of his age avoided him. He could sense that. He never went to play with them. That troubled his mom. She would try to coax him to go out and play with the rest of the kids of his age. “How do you know they don't like you unless you go out and see for yourself?” she would say. He loved his mom. He did go out one day, only because he wanted to see her happy. He had returned weeping with a big purple bruise on face that made him look even uglier. And a bag full of insults on top of that. He never went out after that. His mom had never asked him again.

School was a similar story. He was abused everyday. Even the teachers loathed him because he was so ugly. He had slowly learnt to accept that as a part of his existence. He did not have many choices.

But school also meant Physics and Math and Chemistry. It fascinated him. Science gave wings to his imagination. It became his world and gave him a reason to exist; to bear whatever wrong the world continued to do to him. He had a natural ability for science. He made the teachers very uncomfortable. The other students loathed him even more. He was yards ahead of them. He never topped his class though. Because he did not believe in sticking to what was written in the books. Science was his baby and he hated rules when it came to science. He wanted to explore it the way he wanted. But he was smart. And he knew he had to pass school. So he did enough to pass school with decent grades every year.

And then he saw Shaina. She was the new girl in the class. And the most beautiful. Shaina was popular from day one. She made heads turn wherever she went. She was smart and she was also good at studies. He had never really looked at girls before. But Shaina was different. She had captured his imagination. She disturbed his thoughts. His thoughts were clouded with his feelings for her. His grades had begun to suffer. Shaina was an angel for him, a goddess; someone who gave a new dimension to his being. Or so he thought.

It’s funny how moss can grow even on stones. One day, the loathed, abused B. Kar actually found the courage to confess his feelings to Shaina. He had been unable to sleep the previous night. Shaina had slapped him hard and demanded how someone as ugly as him could even dare to think something remotely close to that. Then she had walked away, leaving behind two of her muscular followers to do the rest. One of them had punched him in the face and the other had pushed him to the ground. They had given him one kick each and left. And B. Kar had learned an important lesson in life. He stayed clear of gals for the next ten years of his life.

But Bella was different. She worked with B. Kar in the lab where he did his research. He had met her when he joined as a researcher in the lab after completing his PhD. B. Kar had performed exceedingly well in college. But his social life was still the same. True, people no longer abused him, but he knew that he was still a loner, an outcast. He was awarded honors and recognized multiple times. People had clapped. He had walked out of the auditorium and found that things had not changed one bit. But then, he wasn’t really expecting a change.

Not until it was a year after he had started working with her. That was three years ago. Bella was a decent, good looking girl, and she neither had the glamour nor the attitude that Shaina did. In fact, B. Kar hadn’t really noticed her. But Bella was impressed with B. Kar’s intellect and his analytical abilities. She befriended him, though all they discussed was technology. Once in a while, they would go down to have lunch together in the canteen. Very rarely, they would also talk about something lighter. B. Kar usually fumbled, for the simple reason that he was not used to sharing anything with another human. But Bella would make up for the two of them. Bella was the friendly types; she was on close terms with a lot of people in the facility.

B. Kar had tried hard to ignore what he had gradually started feeling for Bella. His experience with Shaina had left a scar that was irreparable. However, ignoring her had not been easy either. Even Bella had noticed his uneasiness. She had asked him what he was up to. B. Kar had avoided the question. But Bella asking him the question had given him a new hope. “This is different”, he had told himself. He had his reasons. They both knew each other quite well. Bella actually cared for him. She was the first person to care for him after his parents who were long gone. “And, this is not a crush the way Shaina was”, he thought. He had known her for a substantial time before he had started to develop feelings for her. After more than a month of deliberation with himself, B. Kar finally told Bella what he felt for her.

Bella was left in tears. She had told him how she felt for him as a friend and could not believe that he had such things in his mind all along. She could not believe that he had mistaken her friendliness for something else. “You have insulted me. I do not think we can be friends any longer”, she had said.

B. Kar was devastated. Because it became clear that whatever he did, he would remain an outcast. He had suspected that all along, but when it became clear to him, it hit him harder than he had thought possible. He stopped going to the lab. Within a week he had resigned. He had thought Bella might reconsider and sympathize with him. It was his belief that he deserved that. When she did not, he decided that it was time to end his life. Because he knew that his existence had lost its meaning. A man, above all, is a social being. A man who had no social acceptance had no reason to exist.

But he did not. Every man has his destiny. After the initial shock had passed, B. Kar felt it was his destiny. He had to rise to the occasion. He had to prove himself to the world, prove to Bella, to Shaina, to everyone who had wronged him since the day he was born. He had to give them an answer, an answer that would shock the very existence of their ego. They were dispensable. He would show them that they were dispensable. B. Kar would make them pay very very badly for what they had done to him. B. Kar relocated to his father’s property in the remote town where he had spent his childhood. He set up a lab in his ancestral home. The place was in ruins, but that hardly mattered to B. Kar. He spent all his money in his research. When it dried up, he stole millions of dollars through the Internet. He knew that the world owed it to him. No one ever got a trace. He was a genius; he was ahead of his time.

And today, three years later, B. Kar knew that he was there. His answer was ready. He walked towards his laptop and initiated the power sequence. There was a very gentle whirring of motors as the initiator circuits came to life. And then there was silence. For his ‘baby’ was perfect. B. Kar smiled in satisfaction.

“Hi Biplab, how are you doing”, Bella’s sweet voice broke the silence. A shiver ran down B. Kar’s spine. And then he laughed. Bella was his now. She would not hurt him anymore. She was his, anyway he wanted her. And he could never lose her again. He knew that was out of the question. No one could take his Bella away from him now. This Bella was completely his; her very existence in its entirety was his.

Only, now she was electronic.

P.S. This is my attempt at fiction in a really long long time. If you read this, and you are not in a rush, do drop me a comment. Please tell me what you felt about this or what you feel should have been different.

Let me tell you a story.
Mr. X gets up at 7 every morning. He shaves and shits and drinks his coffee and showers and all that. He switches a few channels and catches up with the stocks on their ever crazy journey. By this time his kid is ready and Mr. X drops him off at school.

Beautiful Mrs. X. gives Mr. X a long list of what she wants for her household. She complains about that trip he had promised and how they should go out for dinner that night. Mr. X talks about how busy he is at work. Mrs. X understands nothing of what Mr. X does in his office. Mr. X leaves for office in his sleek car.

Days at office are rarely different for Mr. X. He meets clients and delivers presentations and attends office meetings where people talk at length about stuff no one is interested in. And he spends time creating those presentations debating whether to use 11 point Arial or Garamond 12. Mr. X brings back home some work and the stuff Mrs X had ordered. His kid tells him what he did at school and Mr. X feels guilty because he does not find enough time to teach him maths. Mrs X keeps complaining about this and that but on some days they have a pretty good time.

Once or twice in a year, the X's go out for vacations. They share their photos with their friends and talk excitedly about the trip. Sometimes, Mr. X goes out on office trips.

Growth for Mr. X means a bigger office and a better pay. Mr. X works not beacuse he is very interested in it, but because he has a family to support and a future to secure. On some rare nights Mr. X gets all nostalgic and tells Mrs. X about his dreams and fantasies when he was in college. Beautiful Mrs. X doesnt seem to connect much with all that.

You know what??
I'm calculating how much time I have before I turn into Mr. X. Except the beautiful Mrs. X part perhaps. Given the direction in which my career is progressing, it's just a matter of time before I turn into Mr. X. Where is the INNOVATION in my life?

This is not what I had signed up for when I decided to be an engineer. I need an escape route. Any ideas anyone?

What do you do when you have nothing interesting to write about? And when you desperately want to post something?

The answer is simple. You post something boring. :D

The college cultural fest was a cacophony of people, emotions, expectations and what not. That is why I love fests. From excited first years dying to get their few moments of on stage fame to frustrated fourth years scouting for pretty first year gals. Everything about a fest is big and interesting. At least to me. Students about to pass out getting all nostalgic and ending up in tears. I loved every moment of it, even that. Call me unemotional if you want to.

But what I noticed for the first time was a sound guy. Not a guy who was sound but a guy who was a part of the company that was responsible for the audio. On the last day, at around 3 am in the morning, I suddenly noticed that he was fast asleep in a big space behind the console. A rock band that called themselves STEEL and their fans STEELERS was performing, and that should give a fair idea of the decibel levels around the place.

That moment, I just tried to view things from his angle. What did a college fest mean to him? Another sleepless night, irritating high decibel amateurish music, sweating people who would jump rather idiotically to anything and everything that's being played and raise loads and loads of dust in the process. Think about it.

What meant moments of a lifetime to such a vast multitude of people, meant a plain frustrating day at work for him that paid poorly. Isn't it wonderful that such vastly contradicting perceptions of the same thing can exist in such a packed atmosphere blissfully oblivious of the others presence?

Life is damn interesting!

Hello blogging world!!

I'm back. After a hugely successful stint in the college technical festival, INSTRUO as Internal Coordinator. This would rank amongst the most satisfying experiences of my life.

As a part of the package, comes the hype and the recognition. Only to dwindle and die away with time. Not that I'm complaining one bit. Yeah, I impressed lots of people. And as usual, none of them were girls. *wink*.

But that's something I will talk about some other day. Today, with the Instruo experience and the anticipation of the cultural fest just around the corner, I want to talk about something entirely different. I want to talk about the two mistakes of my life.

I would have loved a better physique. With an imposing physical appearance, some things would have been far easier.

I should have learned some music. That's one area I have never explored. Except listening to music; some idiots call that a 'hobby'.

Perhaps its too late to amend these mistakes. Perhaps its never too late. Only time can tell. Instruo pictures coming soon.

After twenty years of soul searching, I finally found the answer.

I've never found true love. I've never seen phenomenal success or phenomenal luck. I never got any richer overnight. Forget true love, no one ever showed any romantic interest in me. Every night, after I lie down and till I start to snore, I wonder where the problem lies.

But no more guys, 'cause I found the answer last night.

"........send this email to 15 people including me and you will find true love by tomorrow. Ignore this and you will never find love"

"......send this scrap to true friends and see a miracle happen by tonight. Ignore this and......"

I spent my childhood in a religious city and people would often hand me leaflets saying,"

Mata XYZ devi ki kripa

..... get 1000 copies of this pamphlet distributed and you will get richer by millions.....

Mr. ABC ignored and got fired from office and ..........

Mr. DEF did 5000 and currently owns crores..."

I'm sorry Mr. Bulkmailer, I'm sorry Mr. Junkscrapper, I'm sorry Mr. Leaflet distributor. I'm sorry because I never paid any attention to what you said. I never forwarded those emails, I never went to a printer. Not that I ever plan to.

But I would like to request everyone reading this post to refrain from sending me those mails and scraps and whatever. You see, I've already done a lot of sin accumulation. And the only way anyone can help me, is by not adding to the already accumulated bundle.

As for the leaflets, I always get curious and accept whatever is handed out to me. From now on, I'm planning to staple a request on my shirt asking all leaflet hand-outers to oblige. Pity they don't read blogs.

What's up, everybody??

The last few days have been quite eventful. I was depressed, I was happy, I was confused... life has been strange. I was burdened with responsibilities. And the burden will continue till the 12th of April, perhaps even longer. I hardly find to time blog these days. Sorry blogger buddies, I really could not catch up with your blogs through this time.

Life's strange. Through the four years of college, my hostel mates have formed my world. I have lived with them and I have dreamed with them. We have been sharing the highs and lows of life together. And I have never really thought about it. But when it is poised to end, it feels so empty inside. Because I know, with time and distance, we will gradually turn from buddies to college friends to acquaintances to long lost friends. It is bound to happen and there is nothing I can do that would change that.

I have always loved to be the guy in control, I like things happenning my way. When they didn't, I always knew that I had only myself to blame. But this one time, I feel so powerless. Whatever that I might have done, it would still be the same. And with cruel luck, no two of us would be relocating to the same place. In a matter of months, we would be scattered all over the country.

Life suddenly doesnt seem that rosy anymore. Add to that, worse things have been happening all this time. A friend got engaged and had to break up for no fault of his. That too in a week! I was always half misogyne, and I can slowly feel the circle comming close.
Whatever, there's always something to look forward to, and with the technical and cultural festivals just around the corner, I hope I'll be cheering up soon!